Different Side of Life
by momonono
Summary: Alex and Olivia are divorcing...Alex is trying to move on but remnants from her other life continue to haunt her. Casey comes in the picture and changes her perception of life. AC pairing.
1. Max

**AN: I do not own the characters. AC pairing :) Hope you like it.**

I remember the first time I met her. She was smart, brilliant, and she had a passion for her job. She was also a brunette and I was easily attracted to her. Especially those deep brown eyes, full of intensity when she enters the interrogation room.

I wasn't always accepted in the precinct. She and I fought on almost every case. We would butt heads and somehow we got together and we got married after 3 years of dating.

I had it all. I loved Olivia and she loved me. A year later... I remember the day we decided that we wanted a kid. Olivia was so excited. She always wanted a kid and here she is going to have one. The doctor used my eggs and placed them inside her. We agreed that she would carry our baby. We intensely gazed at all the donors. We actually had fun doing it. Once we chose one; our world began.

The first month went by pretty well. I actually had to stop her from consuming junk food knowing the first trimester was crucial. It was hard months after that to cease her from going to work. She loved her job and couldn't let go. I was relentless and I made sure that she didn't go.

I remember the day her water broke and I rushed her to the hospital. She was in pain. I wished that I could take it all from her, but all I could do was watch.

"I don't want this anymore...tell him to go back." Olivia told me whimpering.

Tears fell out of my eyes, "Babe...you can do this. Come on push...I love you." I said as I held her hand.

"Push, Olivia." The nurse smiled and gave her encouraging words...moments after that I saw my baby boy, blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Look, at you...babe, you did a great job." I told her as I was crying touching the nose of my baby boy.

"We did a good job...now, what are we going to name this bundle of joy?" Olivia asked me.

"Max Alex Benson-Cabot." I answer. I knew she loved the name by the way she looked at me.

"Hey, Max..." She told the dozed off baby.

That was four years ago. Meaning Max is four and Olivia and I are having trouble in our relationship.

We are divorcing. We knew it was imminent. It was just a say of, when. I love Olivia, but we grew apart. She is never home. I quit my job so I can stay at home with Max and she would work. I don't mind...but I have a feeling she rather be at work than home. When we came back home with Max, shortly after he was born, she would finish everything to hurry and get home. Now, it is more like every case keeps her at the precinct for the least, four days. Here's my life.

I came through the door with a bunch of groceries and a hyperactive kid running around with a bottle of soda. I set it down and yell out Olivia's name.

She comes out of the room with her pajama's still on. She stretches. "What time is it?" she asks.

I roll my eyes as she comes in the kitchen and opens the refrigerator. "It is 2 in the afternoon. You promised Max that you would go to the park with him..." I whisper to her.

"Whoa...there is still time. I'll take him." She replies like it is no big thing.

She loves Max to death, but sometimes she just doesn't know how much it hurts a kid when a person does not follow through with their promises.

"Alex, my lawyer is asking about custody...are you going to take him. Because I will fight you on this..."

"Liv, If I wanted full custody...I would win. I don't want full custody. He is as much yours as mine." I tell her as I take the groceries out of the bag.

"I can't believe that we are actually doing this...what happened to us?" she asks as she leans on the counter next to me.

"Olivia...you are really asking this...right now? We grew apart...I...don't think we finished the same way we started. Something went terribly wrong down the line." I answer her.

"I still love you...I just want you to know that." She tells me looking down at her feet.

"Mom!" Max screams. When he calls _mom that_ means Olivia. Mommy...that's me.

Olivia turns towards him and smiles so brightly. I remember when I could do that to her.

"Hey, Little guy. I missed you last night...I wanted to read you a bedtime story." Olivia picked him up and cradled him on her hips.

"Mommy and me went to the store and we buy'd lots of stuff." He smiled.

"You did?" Olivia asked him smiling.

He nodded uncontrollably. "When are we going to the park?" Max stated incoherently.

"Right now, I guess. Wait for me to dress up." Olivia touched his nose and kissed him and placed him down.

"I love you." Olivia tickled his tummy.

He has the cutest giggle. "I love you." He starts running for his toys.

"Be careful, Max." I yell.

"Ok, mommy!" he yells back,

"I really love that kid." Olivia tells me looking at him play.

"Olivia...court is tomorrow. It is about splitting assets. You need to be there." I tell her as she starts to walk out.

She turns around. "I know. Cragen knows about our situation. He will let me out early." She barely is coherent and she walks away.

I know, I am still living with my soon to be ex-wife. We decided that we will live together until I get my job and for Max. I don't want him to grow up in a split household until it is permanent. We haven't spoken to him yet and I have an idea that it will be hard. We planned to tell him today after Olivia takes him to the park; however, I am not mentally ready to admit that Olivia and I are no more.

I head to the living room after putting away the groceries and watch Max play with his toys. Olivia comes out dressed in sweats and a tank top. "Alright, Max, are you ready to go?" She asks him.

He stops everything he is doing and starts jumping up and down. "Yes!" he screams.

"Ok! " She replies just as excited back. "I'll be back in an hour. I'm going to the park then eat out with him. You can join if you want to."

"No, I have things to do." I answer.

She shrugs and sighs, "Ok. See you later." She grabs Max's hand and walks him out of the house.

Olivia truly spoils that kid. I am the strict one to some degree. She loves him to death and that is what counts.

I am headed to get my job back with McCoy and work as an ADA. I can't wait to get back. It was something I truly missed when I was with Olivia. Although it was my choice to let her work...I really am glad I am back.

I knock on his door. "Come in."

I open the door and he looks up and smiles. The first time I have ever seen him smile. "Alexandra Cabot!" he yells excitedly as he gets off his seat, shuts the door, and hugs me. "Sit, sit." I sit on the office couch with him. "How are you?" he asks.

He knows about Olivia and I. "Not so good..."

"Hey, that is ok. You can start when you are ready." He stands up. "We have a desk setup for you in another ADA's office for now, until we find an open office for you."

He leads me out of the room to another room that used to be my office, but replaced with the name Casey Novak. Isn't that the white collar crime lawyer?

He stops smiling and knocks on the door.

"Come in." A deep womanly voice echoes out of the room.

He opens the door and I see a stunning red head with piercing green eyes. Hair just drops over her shoulder. Very long.

She drops everything as she sees McCoy. "Good Afternoon Casey. This is..."

"Alexandra Cabot...I heard so much about you around here." She smiles as she comes close and shakes my hand.

I smile back. "Nice to meet you." I reply.

"Alex, you will have to share your office with Casey, until you office is fixed. We set a desk, over here." He points. "Thank you for coming back." He nodded. "I have to get to court, but I would love to talk to you over dinner."

"That would be great." I respond.

He walks out of the office.

Did he just leave me here with someone I really don't know?

Casey walks back to her desk. "I would love to get to know you...are you free tomorrow?"

"Yes, after court. We can familiarize ourselves,,, around nine?" I ask.

She nods. "Ok, see you tomorrow." She smiles.

"Nice meeting you again, counselor." I reply and walk out of her...our office. She is nice. I look forward to getting to know her.

I head back home around seven and I don't see Olivia home yet so I enter the house and take a quick nap.

"Mommy! Mommy!" I hear Max screaming in my ear.

I slowly open my eyes. "Hey." I answer.

"Mom and me have lots of fun!" he continued.

"That is good." I state now sitting up.

I pick him up and bring him to the living room to where I see Olivia sitting down. She breathes in. "Are you ready?" She asks me.

I nod.

I seat max on Olivia's lap and turn towards them. "Max, mommy and I have to tell you something." Olivia breathed. "Mommy and I have run into some...problems...and we aren't the same as we used to be...so we have to split up." Olivia told him gently.

"Like Jason's parents?" He asked.

It was my turn. "Yes...kind of like that."

"You don't love me anymore?" He wondered innocently.

I stared into his deep blue eyes. "No, sweetheart, we will always love you."

"You don't love mom?" he asks.

"Of course I do with all my heart." I answered truthfully back.

"Then why?" he asks.

"We are just not...the same anymore." I answer him to the best of my ability.

"This is stupid!" he yelled as he slid off Olivia's lap.

"Hey, watch your language." I reply sternly.

"Jason said he hates his parents..." he starts crying, "I hate you!" he screams as her enters his room and shuts the door.

I suddenly feel tears running down my face. I look at Olivia who is also crying. I wipe my tears and get up.

"I'll do it. He may not understand...This sucks." She stands up and heads to his room.

I never in a thousand years I thought that I would divorce the love of my life. She will always be...but, at this point in her life she wants something totally different that we both wanted years ago. She wants to save lives and I want to be a family.


	2. Dinner

**AN: Whoo...fun reading reviews. Thanks made my day. I Present this chapter.**

As Olivia heads to talk to Max, I decide to lay my head. After twenty minutes I was still not asleep. So I just laid and started thinking.

I hate that Max has to be in the middle of all this. This sucks. He is my son and I hate to hurt him like this. Olivia is good with this kind of stuff. She is such a cop.

I remember she would tell me all these things to do before I went out with Max. He could get kidnapped, he could get molested, blah blah blah. I would never keep him out of my sight. She has seen so much that she wants to protect him from it all. That is what Elliot did and she told him he can't protect them for long...I remind her about that.

I hear Max's door close. The living room lights come on and stay on for about ten minutes. Either she fell asleep or she is thinking. I can't sleep with the light on, so I got off my bed and headed to the living room.

I see Olivia looking at a picture and crying. She suddenly looks up at me and wipes her tears and places the picture back to its place. She was looking at our marriage picture.

"I...I thought you were asleep." She finally broke the silence.

"I couldn't...are you ok?" I asked her as I leaned in the doorway.

"Yea. Why wouldn't I be?" She asked.

"If you want to talk, I am always here." I reply to her.

She wipes her eyes, "Do you think we are taking this too far? I mean, he is in the middle of all this and..."

"Olivia, it has been six months since we agreed to this. We already signed the papers...We have drifted apart...There is no possible way for us to try to fix something that has been broken for years now." I reply to her crossing my arms.

"That's all you keep saying...drifted apart...How Alex...because you seem to know." She replies wiping the tears on her face.

"Olivia...you are never home...I really don't know why we are even talking about this..." I tell her and I am just frustrated.

"I was never home?" Olivia replies surprised, "Alex that is my job."

"Your job never took you away from me for two straight weeks...I remember when I worked there... a case lasted at least 2 days and never took you away from me...I would see you everyday...but now, never." I reply.

"Well, things changed." Olivia answered.

"Really? Because I used to call Cragen and he would tell me that you took on another case. He would tell me you jumped at the opportunity to get another case and asked me if there was something wrong with our marriage...your own captain." I replied angrily.

She stayed quiet.

"I have a dinner with ADA Casey Novak, tomorrow. I am going to call the nanny to babysit Max..."

"No, I will take care of him." She interrupted.

I gaze at her, "Are you sure? You always get calls..."

"I said I will...ok." Olivia replied harshly.

I nodded and was about to head to the bedroom.

"Is it professional or..."

"Professional...and it is not your business." I turn around and shut my door.

If she wanted to save this marriage...she could have done it years ago. I can't deal with this right now. I just have to focus on my life.

The next morning I wake up. It's Monday, meaning court...and dropping off Max to his preschool.

I wake up and get ready and I see that Olivia got Max ready. "My car isn't working...Can I get a ride with you to court?" She asks.

I nod. "Yea...are you ready?" I ask grabbing my key's.

"Max, you have your book bag and lunch?" Olivia asks.

"Yes!" Max yelled.

"Alright," Olivia smiled.

She tightened Max on his booster seat and sat down in the passenger seat.

The car ride was rather quiet including Max. I got to his preschool and let Olivia drop him off.

She comes back in the car. "Man...They grow so fast. I saw Eli and he is so big... as big as Max." Olivia astonished at what she just saw.

"I can't believe he is four. He speaks as if he is a twelve year old." I reply smiling.

"He has all of you in him...intelligent, smart." She replies.

"He obviously got your weird thumb thing...every time he asks me something he knows I am going to say no to...he looks down and twirls his thumbs...no one in my family does that...He must have seen you do it." I chuckle to myself.

"What time are you going to be back tonight?" She asks me.

"I don't know. Why?" I ask.

"I wanted you to talk to Max yourself...he won't be mad at you because he is very forgiving. Just tell him. I don't want him to confide in me all the time... you know." She places her head back on the seat and shuts her eyes.

"I will see." I answer.

The rest of the ride was quiet. We arrived in a room and I saw her lawyer there. We sat in front of each other and spoke.

"Well, I don't want the house or anything in it. I will move out to an apartment near the house so I can easily drop off and pick up Max. I obviously want my car. Money, I think should be under Olivia's discretion. She worked for it and she should probably have it all...uhm...that's about it." I answer and pass the papers to her lawyer.

"Actually, it will make me feel better if I put in the down payment for the apartment...then you can start living there and I seriously don't care about the money either." Olivia answers gazing into my eyes.

"This is the most civil I have ever seen a divorce in my thirty years of doing this. Both parties agree?" her lawyer smiles.

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Ok, well, Olivia sign here and Alex sign there. And...We are done." Her lawyer smiled.

"Alright. Alex can you drop me off at home?" She asks standing up.

"Yea." I nod

We get home and I head straight to our storage room and I take out the box with all my achievements. I want to place it on the wall of my office. I have the best idea for this. I remember having it hanged on my office wall.

I am looking at my picture with my mother and father, who passed, when I graduated. Olivia knocks and smiles.

"Reminiscing?" she asked.

"Yea...for my office." I answer as I look up from the picture.

"You got your job? That's great." She smiles. "I came to tell you that my car is ok...Elliot fixed it...I am going to pick up Max." She states as she walks away.

"Ok." I reply.

I place the picture in the box and carry it to my room. I already chose my clothes to wear and it is not even nine yet.

I find myself watching _Judge Judy_, when Olivia comes in with Max and Eli.

"Mommy!" Max screams as he comes to hug me.

I smile as I hug him back, "Hey, I missed you."

"Max, how about you show Eli your toys, while I talk to mommy." Olivia interjects.

"Alex, I need to show you something." She walks into the kitchen.

I follow her looking at Max and Eli play. "What?" I ask as she unravels a paper.

"Look at this." Olivia showed me a picture of max's drawings.

He drew a house and on the left side is me and on the right side of the house is Olivia. He is in the middle, crying.

"They told him to draw his future, Alex..." She replies distressed.

"We have to talk to him...We have to know where his head is at...Shoot, I was supposed to meet Casey..." I look at the time.

"Yea..." Olivia states with annoyance in her voice.

Two hours later and I am ready.

I get dressed in one of my sexy fitting suits. Shows I mean business and I am sexy.

I step out of my room to leave.

"Wow. That looks awfully personal for a professional dinner." Olivia acquiesced.

"Please don't start." I reply heading to the door. "Bye, Max...I will see you tonight." I kiss him on the forehead.

I drive to the restaurant to see Casey sitting in a booth already.

She stands up to greet me. "Is this going to be professional? I would rather informal..."

Wow, she is to the point. "Ok...Then...Call me Alex." I answer.

"You can call me Casey." She replies.

We are silent for a while, until she breaks the ice. "Is there something bothering you?"

I take a minute to answer this question. "Can I lie?" I ask chuckling a little bit.

"No." she smiles brightly back.

"Then yes...and I really don't want to talk about it." I answer back. Number one, I recently just met her, and number two...I hate bringing my personal life into my professional one.

"Ok...well. I will tell you about my life. I am the youngest of three. Two overprotective brothers and me. My parents passed away when I was thirteen, I moved in with my grandmother. She died when I entered law school...She is what keeps me going. I loved her. My older brother is closest to me than the two...although they both are pretty close. I told my eldest brother that I was a lesbian and he told me that there was nothing to be ashamed of. He was always going to be there. I have gone through a lot in my life and that is what makes me who I am...so if you are nervous about coming back Alex...I can help." She gazes at me.

I breathe and contemplate what I am going to say next; because most of what she said surprised me... she is a lesbian. "Do you know why I am back? Do you know my family?" I ask curiously.

"Actually, I do not. I just know you left SVU...should I?" She asks.

"You don't go out with your detectives? Don't know their lives?" I ask puzzled and shocked that she doesn't know.

"I thought I did...Elliot has a wife and a couple of kids. Munch had several wives, Fin has a son and ex-wife...Olivia never talked about anything...she did have a picture of a little boy and you...together...Wait you and Olivia ...are together?" She asks astonished as she places the pieces together.

"Um...yeah. Kind of...we are divorcing. Officially, next week Tuesday." I answer.

"Wow. I am so sorry." She replies sincerely.

"It's ok. It's Olivia I am sorry about. Lately it has been hitting her and I don't think she can do this on her own. I love her...but we are not connected anymore...You have any case we can both go over...Maybe I can get my knowledge back before I hit my first case on Monday." I ask her.

"Yea...we are finished here. We can go to my apartment and go over this case I have." She answers.

We pay and leave the restaurant and I follow her to her apartment. As we enter her home I stare at everything. It is a neat home. The dining table is beautiful. The home decoration is wonderful and she is really talented if she did this herself. I yawn, "You did this yourself?" I ask curiously.

"Yeah, my mom was a home decorator before she died and I just decided to try it out myself. They say I am a natural at it." She smiles smugly. "I am going to make tea, you want?" She asks.

I nod and take a seat. She heads into the kitchen and I find myself being slowly moved to a soft bed. I open my eyes to view the unfamiliar room. I see Casey smiling above me. "You fell asleep...you can crash here." She smiles.

"Did you lift me?" I ask.

She nodded, "You might be glad to hear that you are lighter than most. Now sleep...You can drive home tomorrow."

I nod as I succumb to sleep.

**AN: Aww...Casey carried her to bed. :) What do you think?**


	3. Casey

**AN: Hey Hey Hey...I am updating...Long chapter hopes you like it :)**

I wake up to my phone ringing off the hook. I hurriedly pick it up, but not before I am blinded by the light.

"Hello..."I answer groggily.

I hear someone that a breath of relief, "Oh God...Alex I thought something happened to you. Where are you?" I hear Olivia ask.

"I fell asleep at Casey's house. She didn't want me driving..." I answer.

"Why didn't you tell me...I was worried." She replies.

"It's not your business and it is four in the morning." I answer about to shut the phone.

"Actually it is...I am called in...and you need to come here and stay with Max...or I can drop him off at Casey's house..."

"No. I'll be there in twenty minutes." I answer getting off the bed.

I shut the phone and I look for Casey. Who is in her office, asleep.

I come closer and whisper her name. "Casey..."

She jolts up immediately. "Wha..." she wipes her eyes. "I can't believe I just slept on a case file..." She states giggling to herself.

"I have to go...an emergency. I will call you later. Sorry about that case thing. I can do it anytime you are up for it."

"Hey, no problem." She replies nonchalantly.

"Have a nice day!" I reply as I leave the home and for my house.

When I arrive there, Olivia is leaning on her car outside.

"You had fun?" She asked smiling.

I ignore her and enter my home and lock the door and checked on Max, who was peacefully sleeping until he heard me.

"Mommy?" he states.

I turn around and smile at him. "You want to sleep with me in my room?" I ask him.

He jumps at the chance and holds on to my hands and I lead him to my room. I lay next to him face to face.

"You had fun yesterday?" I asked.

"Lots." He whispered.

"You do know I love you, right?" I ask him.

He slowly nods his head.

"I love mom, too. We are splitting up...but we love each other and we don't want you hurt. We want you to smile. Things happen and people are not how they were when they first met...I just want you to be happy." I run my finger through his blonde hair.

"How come I'm not happy?" he asks.

A sudden sadness comes over me. I shouldn't hurt him, but life is about choices and my choice is to divorce Olivia. "Then, I should make you happy. I know how much you hate preschool...so why don't you and I hang all day today...we can play with your trucks, toys, whatever you want. What do you say?" I ask.

"Ok." He answers nonchalantly.

"Ok? That's it? Ok? You have to answer better than that." I reach to tickle him.

He starts to giggle. "Ok! You win mommy." He smiles brightly as he lays a kiss on my lips.

"Good...now I am tired...so we can take a quick refreshing nap and then we have fun. Deal?" I ask him.

"Deal." He lays on my chest and he slowly falls asleep.

Max is my everything. I learned to enjoy life through him. He is free spirited and full of energy. He brings that slice of happiness to my life. He has the same effect on Olivia. She was smiling more, and she knew that when she came from work he was going to be there to remind her that she is loved and it won't be compromised.

My phone is buzzing so I lean over to read the text. Which is from Casey.

_Hey I feel like we had unfinished business. I would love to see you at my office today. I am stuck on this case and would love for you to give me insight._

I can't give her an exact answer. I did promise to hang out with Max...maybe tomorrow.

I texted her that I couldn't make it today because of prior engagements, but I will love to over coffee tomorrow morning.

The rest of the day I went out with Max and brought him some jersey's of his favorite team. I got him a whole new basketball hoop for kids and I took him out to eat at Chuck E. Cheese's, which he was really excited about. I love making him happy.

Once we go home, I took him a bath and tucked him into bed.

"Good night." I state as I walk out the room.

"Mommy...can you tell me a bedtime story." He asks me.

I turn around and smile at him. "Of course." I lay on his bed with him.

"Did you have fun today?" I ask him.

"Lots..."

"What was your favorite part of the day?" I asked him.

He gets really excited. "When Chuck E. gave me more coins and I played more games...When can I get to play with the hoop?" he asks joyfully.

"Tommorow, I will try to set it up...if not ask mom, ok?" I ask him.

"Yes! Eli is not going to beleaf this." He replies smiling.

"Well, it is time to sleep. Let's see...Oh...I have a great story to tell. Once upon a time there was a stadium full of people..."

"People from all over the world." He adds.

I nod. "Yes, they all gathered to see this amazing basketball player. His name was Max Alex. Strongest man every lived on earth."

"Stronger than mom?" he asked.

"Even stronger than Elliot." I reply

"Ooh, that's strong." He smiles.

"Yep, everyone loved him because even when he was weak he was strong and he could handle any situation and make it better. He was always happy, never mad..." I was going to continue but I think he fell asleep.

I looked at the time, ten thirty. I decided to sleep there. It is logical because he will wake up if I even left the bed. Light sleeper, just like me.

The Next day, I woke up to get ready for coffee with Casey. I slowly climbed off the bed.

"Mommy?"

"Shh...go back to sleep sweetie." I tucked him in and slowly walked out of the room.

"Why didn't you take him to preschool?" Olivia startled me as I jumped and turned around. She was sitting on the couch with a coffee mug.

"He was tired. I have to go meet someone...I'll be back as soon as I can. If not call the nanny." I reply to her.

She looks at me suspiciously. "Casey?"

I look at her and enter my room to get dressed.

I text Casey telling her I'll be there in thirty minutes.

I leave my room and grab my keys ready to go. "I will stay with him until you come back...we don't need the nanny." Olivia tells me washing dishes.

I nod. I really can't wait until everything is finalized. She is really getting on my nerves about everything.

I leave the house and arrive at the coffee shop. I soon spot Casey. I wave to her as I order my coffee.

I sit next to her. "Hey, how have you been?"

"Great," Casey replied smiling. "Um...how did it go with Olivia and all that stuff?" She wondered.

"It actually went well...surprisingly." I answer.

"That's great...I would love to have dinner with you again. You are more company to me...I am usually alone, here." She smiles.

I giggle, "I would love to." _Is she hitting on me?_

"I know that we just met and all...but I know we are going to get to know each other more now that your office is getting put together...It will be a while..."

"I know...so how's SVU?" I changed the subject.

She smiled. "You have been with Olivia for a while...she doesn't tell you?" She asks curiously.

"I don't ask," I say shyly. "But, that's not what I meant...how do you like it...I know you were in white collar crimes and all...but this time you are dealing with hurt victims." I reply to her.

She nods slowly, "I love doing what I do...I am even happier that I can lose some of that load to you...At first I wanted to see everything for myself...I was no you, but I worked with what I had and I really love it..." She sipped her coffee.

"Yes, I will come in handy." I nodded. "So, how about that case." I ask her.

She quickly nods. She reaches in her briefcase and pulls out the case.

I take a look at it.

"Anything you think I should do?" She asks after a couple minutes.

"Yea...open up with a heartfelt story and end with what the perp did, with Judge Donnelly, you go this in the bag." I reply.

She smiled. "I have to get to work. This was fun," She got up.

I grabbed my coffee and followed her out.

I went to my car and found her parked next to me. "Are you following me?" she asked smiling.

I shook my head and opened my car and drove away.

She is really fun to be with and I know she will make this 'going back to work' transition easier for me.

I arrive home to Max watching TV and I don't see Olivia anywhere. She is usually with him and never leaves him out of her sight. I lock the door and head towards Max.

"Mommy!" He runs towards me and hugs me.

"Hey babe...Where's mom?" I ask him.

He shrugs and heads back to the television.

"Lower the volume." I tell him as he lowers it.

I walk towards Olivia's room. I see blood drops on the floor. "Olivia?" I ask kind of panicked.

She comes out of the bathroom. Her face is red. She notices the look on my face. "I will clean it once I stop the bleeding..." She heads back in the bathroom.

That seems like a lot of blood for a little cut. I head towards the bathroom and I see blood dripping from her wrist into the sink.

I quickly grab paper. "How...Olivia you need to stitch that up." I tell her applying pressure.

"I don't need anything...I just cut myself while washing the dishes." She replies with pain in her face.

"Look...Max has to get to preschool. I see you dressed him...I drop you to the hospital and then drop off Max..."

"No! I'm ok...I just need a fucking band aid." She grabbed antibacterial and placed a band aid over the cut.

"Alright...I am sending Max to my mom's like we agreed until everything between us is settled. I packed his bags. So after preschool I will drop him off. You are still taking him to preschool?"

"Yea...Yea, I am done here." She replied and grabbed her gun and badge. She swiftly walked into the living room. "Max...let's go." She spoke to him softly.

I stared at her leaving with him and shut and locked the door. I decide to start placing Max's stuff in my trunk. Just in case I forget.

I get a text from Casey. _Hey, thanks for that advice. The jury came back in a blink of an eye. I would love to thank you by taking you out to dinner. If you are up for it. I know you have your priorities...We can hang at my house if you want...or something... alright...thanks again._

A smile came across my face. "She is really nice." I told myself as I texted her back.

_I would love that. I am going to be free for a while. I can pass by your house give me a time and I'll be there._

I replied back. I head to my car and drove to pick up Max.

"You are ready to see grandma?" I ask him.

"Yes!" He smiled.

My mom spoils the kid. She gives him anything he wants and she is helping me out with him...which I am very grateful.

I meet my mom outside as she waves at us when I pull in. I exit the car and she heads for Max.

"Alex!" she screamed I held out my hands and she went straight for Max...I totally forgot she calls him Alex...

"Really, mom?" I laugh.

"What? I could just eat him." She turned towards Max. "I have cookies in the oven and lots of sweets."

He starts to jump. He runs inside the house with my cousin and I wave at her. "So, how are you taking the divorce? How's he taking it?"

"Mom, I don't want to talk about it." I answer.

"Well, you will have to address it one day..." She shook her head and pulled me in for a hug.

"I love you and I only want what's best for you...Do you understand?" She asks.

I nod, "I love you...I will call when everything is over." I hug her once again before I enter the car. "Let him know that I love him...will you." I state as she nods and walks to the house.

I see that I have a text from Casey. _Meet me around nine...we can watch a movie or something. See you._

I breathed in. I deserve to have fun and hang out with whomever I please... My life doesn't stop with Olivia. Before I drive off I text her _I'll be there_.

**AN: What do you think? Alex obviously does not know the signs if it hits her in the face. Casey obviously wants to spend time with her.**


	4. Dinner With Casey

**AN: Update! Wooh. I will update UB and RH tomorrow :)**

I decide to grab wine. I never liked the idea of going to dinner with someone and I don't donate some help.

I call Olivia on the way to Casey's house. "Hey, I dropped off Max. If you want to talk to him call my mom. Don't worry about me if I don't come home. Get your cut checked out. Alright bye." I say in the voicemail, because it is like her to shut her phone off when she is at work.

I head to Casey's house. Is it sad that I already know her address by only going there once? Oh well, we will have to visit each other for cases anyways.

I park and head up to her apartment. Of course her guard stops me.

"I am sorry ma'am. Who are you here for?" he asks.

I was caught off guard. "Um...Casey...Casey Novak." I reply.

He nods. He picks up a phone. "What is your name?" He asks.

"Alexandra Cabot." I reply. I stand at the counter looking around.

"Yes, you have a guest, Alexandra Cabot. Do I send her up?" He asks Casey on the receiver.

He smiles and nods for me to go the elevators. "Casey said come right up." He smiled as he shut the phone.

"Thank you." I walk towards the elevators. As I ride up I get a call from Olivia, "Hey, I got your message..." I hear papers shuffling.

"Ok...well that's all I had to say to you...I have to..."

"Don't...I need your mom's number..."

"Olivia, you've had it for the past four years...Now, you just decide to lose it?"

"Actually, when we filed for divorce I deleted everything on my phone that had to do with you...except your phone number...because I knew it may come in handy...can I get your moms number?" She asks.

"Yea, I'll text it. I am shutting my ringer off... so don't call me." I reply as I shut the phone.

I exit the elevators and text Olivia the number and placed my phone on silent. I knocked on Casey's door.

She quickly opened the door and ran back in the house. "Make our self at home!" She yelled as she went into her kitchen.

I enter and locked the door and placed my coat on the rack. In a matter of seconds I smelled the most pleasing smell in the world.

"Wow, that smells great." I state as I walk into the kitchen.

She turns towards me and smiles, "Thank you...I would love for you to sit...You standing there distracts me..."

"How so?" I ask her smiling.

"You just do. Now, you are my guest." She grabs my hand and pulls out a seat and makes me sit. "Much better." She smiles as she struts back in the kitchen. "It is almost ready!" She yells.

"Why can't I watch? I would love to see how you cook...lately all I have been eating is TV dinners or nothing at all..." I reply.

She sticks her head out. "Nothing at all? What? Is Olivia starving you?" She asks smiling.

"She isn't in charge of me...I chose not to...I hate cooking...Olivia usually cooked and when she didn't I went out to dinner...Now, Olivia barely is home and when she is she goes out to eat with..." I haven't told her about Max.

"Your son?" She pokes her head out again.

I nod.

"You didn't have to tell me you had a son...That kid on Olivia's desk looks exactly like you..."

"Thank you...Sorry, I just hate discussing my personal life."

"Well, that is the only way we are going to trust each other!" She yells from the kitchen.

_Trust each other for what?_ Maybe in cases.

"All done!" she yells as she comes out of the kitchen with a pot in her hands. She sits across from me.

I was about to dig in when she clasps her hands together. "Pray...how do you know I didn't poison you?" She asks me smiling. She bows her head and shuts her eyes.

I look at her puzzled...I haven't prayed since I learned that my sexuality supposedly sends you to hell.

"I thank you for giving me another dinner with The Alexandra Cabot, Thanks for this food, and I ask you bless it. Amen. Eat!" She smiles.

I look at her puzzled for a few seconds and then I start placing pasta in my plate as she signals me to do so.

"This is delicious," I tell as I take my first bite. Although I really want to talk to her about that prayer thing...I will let it pass until after we eat.

"Thank you...a family recipe. I would love to leave some for your son." She smiled.

"Leave some for me. Max is at my moms." I replied laughing and stuffing a fork-full in my mouth.

"I would certainly leave some for you." She smiled. "What is your favorite color?" She asked out of the blue.

"Why?" I ask kind of puzzled.

"What I can't be curious?" She replied.

"Um...red." I reply finishing up the food.

"Great...great..." She smiles as she grabs my plate.

I look at her puzzled. She leaves into the kitchen. She comes back. "Sit at the couch...I will be over in a minute." She points as she clears the table.

I would have helped her...but after pushing me away last time...I think she doesn't want as much help from her guests.

I head to the couch and sit. She comes a minute after and sits on the opposite side of the couch. "I actually want to get to know you Alex. So, if you can open up this time and talk and tell me about your life...I won't judge...I promise." She smiles and criss crosses on the couch and turns towards me like it is story time.

"I already told you that I hate talking about my life..." I tell her.

"How about I tell you more of my life and maybe that will make you feel better...you can ask questions...or something...What do you want to know?" she asks me.

"I don't need to know anything..." I reply.

"Come on...open up...I know it's weird not being under Olivia, after all these years...you need to get back..." I know she is not going to let go of this.

"Why do you pray knowing that you will be going to hell?" I ask her.

"What?"

"No, offense or anything." I quickly respond.

"Sorry, I think you probably think I have a religion...I don't. I believe that there is a guy named Jesus that loves me for me, not my sexuality...you should be more open." She replies.

I nod...I should check into that.

"Well, I should ask you a question...how are you feeling about the whole divorcing thing?" she asks me softly.

I know she isn't going to let this go. "Ugh...Um...It sucks...I feel like I have made the best decision for me and not so much for Max..." I reply.

"What do you feel is right?" she asks.

"Nothing...not anymore at least...Olivia is not the woman I married years ago...we agreed to this divorce and although it hurt me at first...I learned to deal with it...Olivia not so much." I reply.

"What about Max?" She asked concerned.

"He...cried...he told me he wasn't happy. He told us he hated us." Tears filled my eyes as I explained...This is what tried to avoid.

She came closer and hugged me, "Hey...He just doesn't understand...No, need to cry." She holds me until I stop sniffling.

"See...don't you feel better letting that go?" she asks me.

Actually, it does... I nod.

"I really never knew that The Alexandra Cabot had tear ducts..." she starts giggling.

"Hey...this doesn't leave this apartment."

She raises one hand and the other is across her heart. "Scouts honor." She smiles. "The wine must be cooled..." she gets up and pours us both a cup.

After a whole hour of drinking and not watching the movie, I realize she probably only called me to talk.

"Looks like you have to stay here. You had too much to drink...Plus I want you to help me with something tomorrow...would you join me to go shopping?" She asks me.

"Umm... I..."

"It will be fun...think of it as bonding." She quickly stated.

"Ok..." I reply. "Well I am really tired..."

"First room on the left...the guess room." She smiles as I get up and head to the guest room.

**AN: What do you think? Aww...Casey. :)**


	5. Can't Get Any Obvious

**AN: Sorry I couldn't write **_**Expectations**_**...That will be top of the list tomorrow and I will be making schedule and post it on twitter and my fan-fic profile...Ok here it is :)**

I wake up to smell of pancakes and a warm, soft, voice, "Alex, wakey wakey. I made breakfast in bed...It is the least I can do...I mean, you _are_ going to go shopping with me."

I slowly sat up in bed to recognize my surroundings. That's right! Last night, I slept in Casey's house.

She places the tray in front of me. "Thank you...but you really didn't have to..."

She shrugged, "It's ok, I wanted to...I am going to be in my office finishing up cases...If you need me, you know where to find me...I won't be long we can go shopping as soon as possible. If you want to go home and change...I would be delighted to drop you off." She smiled as she walked out the room.

"Thank you." I reply softly.

She is a great friend. The last time I had breakfast in bed...was my birthday, three years ago.

Somehow she knew my favorite foods...She had strawberries chopped in a bowl, 2 pancakes, orange juice, and she placed a small heart shape mint next to all of it.

It was the most delectable, savory, foods I have ever tasted. She is a natural at this.

After I finish, I bring the tray to the kitchen and clean it. Then I head for her office. Of course I knock first.

"Yeah." She replies as I enter. "What type of person am I? I bet you are bored out of your mind."

"No...I..."

"It's ok. I will make it up to you...So...I am about done here...I will grab bag and key's and I will be on my way." She smiles as she puts away the case file she was working on.

She grabs her keys and coat. "You ready?" She asks fixing her luscious red hair. It perfectly goes with her.

She opens the door for me to exit and shuts and locks I behind her.

She clicks the button for the elevator. "So, you are going to your house for clothes?" She asks me.

"Um...yea." We both enter the elevator.

"Ok...I am really looking forward to working with you..." She smiles and turns forwards as she walks out the elevator.

She has been really nice. I think that coming back was the best decision of my life. I think that I will be in good hands.

I follow her to her car and enter the passenger seat. She holds the door open for me and enters the driver's seat and starts driving.

"So what do think you are going to do after you and Olivia divorce? Are you going to date? Or..." She trailed off for me to finish.

"Well, to tell you the truth... I don't think I would survive the dating scene. I haven't dated in so long and well, who would want a woman with a kid..." I tell her.

A sly smile spring up in her face. "You will be surprised how many lesbians want kids." Casey told me as a matter of fact.

I took her on it, "Well, do you want kids?" I ask her.

"Hell Yes!" She starts laughing. "I think they are a joy...Look in my wallet..." She signals where it is quickly glancing and smiling. "Those two are my twin nieces...They are my world. I try to visit them once a week..." She is so happy talking about them.

I flip through the pictures.

"They are my world. I can talk about them every day and all day." She smiled glancing at me.

"They are adorable." I reply to her.

"I know...I would love for you to meet them one day...If that is ok with you..." She asks.

I smile, "One day..." I tell her as we arrive to my house. "Wait out here...I don't want you to get...umm...Olivia is not herself..." I try to explain.

But she still takes off her seatbelt. "I really don't care...I am not waiting in this car alone in the heat." She exits the car and opens the door for me.

I get out, "Look...Olivia...She..."

"It's not like we are going out...We are colleagues."

"Not until Monday we are not..." I reply swiftly.

She grabbed my hand. "Hey...we have been hanging out this past few days...We are colleagues...Now, can I come in your house and wait for you to get ready as you did for me?" She asks softly.

I nod, I notice that our hands are still touching and I remove them. She shakes her head and walks into my house smiling at all the toy's and trucks everywhere.

"I have a nephew...but he is only one...I just can't wait until he is like Max...he will be so fun."

I was more surprised that she remembered Max's name...I had to have said it only twice.

"Well, looks like Olivia is not here...Uhm...you can stay here...I will be right back." I tell her as I walk into my room. I change my clothes. I walk out in jeans and a shirt saying _'I love NY.' _

Casey doesn't turn around from the wall of pictures of Max and I. "You should win mom of the year award."

"Really? I always thought I was the worst mom ever. He always wanted Liv every time he cried from having a bad dream..." I replied to her grabbing my bag.

I heard the door handle move and automatically knew it was Olivia. She came through the door and noticed me first because I was at the far left. "I was calling you all last night...it seems like you forgot you had a son." Olivia smiled as she placed her badge and gun on the counter.

When she shut the door, that is when she noticed the smiling ADA. "Casey?" Olivia look back at me then back at Casey, "Not to be rude, but what are you doing here?" Olivia asked astounded.

"Good Morning...I was just admiring your son...beautiful little boy." Casey sounded way too professional.

Olivia gave her a smirk. "He is...excuse me."

Casey nodded.

Olivia grabbed me and walked me to my room and shut the door. "You are really sleeping with Casey in my house? You really planned this weekend..." She gave me an attitude.

"Whoa...sleeping? She is a colleague, that's it, nothing else. So if you please get a life and stop assuming Olivia...like you did in our relationship..." I whispered back.

"Really...Alex you expect me to believe that you are not with Casey...even though you slept in her house twice..." Olivia replied more ferociously.

"I have places to go. I really don't need this right now...I am going to find an apartment this week and pay for it...myself...this arrangement is not working." I reply as I try to get away from her and she grabs my arm and pulls me in for a kiss. I quickly push her off of me. "What the hell?" I state as I yank back my arm and leave her there dumbfounded.

I angrily signal Casey to go. I can't believe she just pulled that.

Casey looks at me bewildered and walks to the car.

**AN: Again, Sorry I couldn't write **_**Expectations**_**...That will be top of the list tomorrow and I will be making schedule and post it on twitter and my fan-fic profile... Happy Reading :)**


	6. Can't Get Any Obvious Part 2

**AN: Ooh I updated this story too :D...Hope you like :)**

Casey enters the driver's seat. She doesn't start the car and turns towards me. "You have a beautiful kid...I bet he is your whole world." She smiles and gazes at my profile.

I look out the window. I really don't know where she is going with this. I nod.

"I bet he makes you happy...even when he disobeys you...you smile and want the best for him." She continues.

I nod. Still confused about her real point.

"I bet...if he was here right now...you would put a smile on even if inside you are angry...and just putting that smile makes you happy." She continues.

I smile thinking about it.

"That's it...Smile because he would always want his mother to smile...it is not my place to ask what happened in that room...but know that I will strive to make you happy...ok?" She smiles as I meet her eyes.

"Thank you." I reply. I feel much better. Much, much better. "You are an amazing person...I am really happy I met you." I smile.

"Same...now let's go shopping." She smiles as she sets the car to drive.

After minutes of silence, I speak.

"So what do you need help on?" I wondered.

"Hmm?" she quickly glanced at me.

"You said yesterday that you needed help in shopping...why did you think I could help you?" I asked her.

"Stuff." She replied smiling.

"I would like a direct answer." I reply.

"When we get there..." She glanced quickly, turning into the mall. She found a really good parking space...with her name on it.

"How? Wha..." I try to find the right words.

"Oh...The space was made by my uncle. My uncle owned this place before selling it...The only catch was that they needed to keep this parking space for me." She is such a beautiful person. She is entertaining and amusing.

I get out of the car and walk to entrance with her. The first store we enter is some type of office supply store. It was really pretty in there. She got everything in red, pens, a new laptop, a comfortable office chair. I picked up a pretty pen holder...and she grabbed it out of my hands.

"That's mine now...you have to choose something else to buy..." She placed it in her basket...She pretty much got everything I picked up and through it in her basket and told me to find something else.

I decided to give up. "Whatever, I guess I will have to come back later." I reply as she snatches another from my hands.

We exit the store with bags of Casey's stuff. "I want to go to the toy store...but I want to put these in my car..."

She takes a couple steps and place her things in the car. We walk back, to the entrance of the toy store.

"What are we supposed to do here?" She asked.

"I have a nephew almost Max's age...can you show me things Max would like?" She asks.

"Yea...of course." I reply heading to the aisle of trucks. I point to the truck I been meaning to get for Max. "Max wanted this truck...It has remote control and stuff like that...I been meaning to buy it...maybe later." I tell her.

She smiles. "I guess this is what I am getting." She replies. "Anything else?" She asks.

"He loves puzzles and coloring..." I tell her.

She grabs a bunch of puzzles, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, and even Cars. She got matching coloring books.

"Ok...I think this is good," she smiles..."Now to look for your Apartment...I don't want Olivia pissing you off all the time...You can crash in my home...until you find an apartment." She tells me while paying for the toys.

"That sounds way better than being with Olivia." I reply whimsically.

"Ok...let's go." She replies as she hands me some bags to carry.

We place everything into the car and she enters the car and breaths in. "You had fun?" she smiled at me.

"Actually, I had a lot of fun. Thank you." I reply.

"You like those office supplies I brought?" She asked.

"Of course...I would have brought them...if you hadn't snatched them." I replied annoyed.

"I actually brought those for you..." Casey replies shyly.

I am in shock...I can't even speak.

"I am not going to take them back...so...I am going to set them in your office...and when I meet Max...I would love to give him those presents..." She replies a little more confident.

I still haven't spoken... surprised that I didn't see this coming.

"Can you say something? " She asks chuckling to herself.

I nod. "Casey...I can't let you buy all of that...It is a nice gesture...I mean it is the greatest thing someone has ever done for me." I smile at her, "However, I can't take this..." I reply.

"Well...I am not returning it...I _will _set it up in your...our office. No argument there...but, when can I see Max and give him these toys..." She replies.

"Um...he is coming back next week..." I choke up.

"Don't cry...I am a sucker for criers." She chuckles.

"You really brought all this stuff for me..." My phone rings.

"Hey mom." I answer. Casey starts the car.

"Hey sweetie. Max missed you yesterday. He wanted me to call you. Hold on."

"Ok." I reply. Casey is tapping me.

"Put it on speaker." She whispers.

I turn on speaker.

"Hi Mommy!" his voice makes my world turn upside down.

"Hey babe, I miss you." I reply.

"I miss you, too. I wents to the beach and grammy help me make sand castles." He replies.

"Wow! That sounds like you had a lot of fun." I reply.

"Lots...I haffta go...we are going to make cookies." I hear shuffling of the phone. "Alex, sweetie...Just know that I am here to talk. Alright bye."

"Bye mom." I reply shutting the phone.

I look at the window and notice that we are at Casey's apartment building. She smiles.

"Your son is the cutest thing I have ever heard." She smiles.

"Thank you...why are we at your apartment building?" I ask, following her out of the car.

"There is an empty room in the floor below me...Looks exactly like my apartment. It has everything set up...no I didn't buy everything...Most of it was free expensive stuff...My aunt is a furniture store owner..." she tries to explain herself.

She takes me to the apartment and it is so beautiful. She was right, it looked exactly like her apartment...I looked at her and smiled. "You should have been a home decorator hands down. I'll take it. How much?"

"Well, I kinda paid for it...the only way I could decorate it was to pay it...You can pay me back anytime you want. It was 598 down payment. It has child locks and a guest room and child room." She replied smiling.

No one has ever been as caring to me as her.

As we were walking out she called my name and I turned around and bumped into her.

Something happened...like sparks or firecrackers...I stared into her eyes afraid of closing the distance. She wasn't as hesitant.

She leaned in and...

**AN: Mwah hahaha! I am Evil...I love pulling these...so much fun...lol...Cliff hanger :D. Review :)**


	7. Casey Part 2

She came close to my ear, "You dropped your earring..." she whispered on my ear.

She put the earring in. "Ok... Let's go." she smiled.

She walked away. I don't know what just happened. I know she felt those sparks... It was in her bright green eyes.

I didn't move. I couldn't, not after that. I wanted her to kiss me... I feel something there. Do I just let it go? She is probably not even interested.

She pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Alex...Hello? Let's go... Are you ok?" she asks as the elevator doors open.

If I have feelings for her and she doesn't... I can't be near her any longer.

"Yea, I am going home..."

"Oh no you're not... I don't want you anywhere near Olivia... I need you happy."

I just snapped... "If you wanted me to be happy you would have kissed me..." Uh-Oh... Well it is already out there... I can't take it back.

Her face reddened. "What?" she replied.

I am debating whether I should repeat myself... Or maybe she wants to make sure that what she heard was what I said.

I stay quiet.

"Alex, what did you say?" she asks seriously. She is slowly approaching me.

"I...I...never mind." I reply heading towards the elevators.

She walks towards the elevator and enters.

The doors shut and she clicks the fifth floor.

"I told you I wanted to go home." I tell her submissively.

"Yea...but we need to talk first." She exits the elevator and I follow her like a lost dog.

She gets inside and once I get in she locks the door.

She leads me to her couch.

"Now, Alex, I want you to repeat what you said...ok?" she gazes at me with her lightning green eyes.

"I am a little jittery. Thats all. I say weird things." I try to laugh it off, however she stares at me.

"Alex..." she continues to gaze at me. "Please. Say it again." she begs.

"I...I... Don't want you to be uncomfortable..." I reply shyly.

"I told you that I will never judge you... You are perfect... Repeat what you said, Alex." she begs once more gazing into my eyes.

I cough to clear my airway. "When...why didn't you kiss..." I should forget this. I never finish the sentence.

"What? Back there...I just wanted to give you your earring... Are you having feelings for me?" she asks trying to hide her excitement.

"Wow... I read this totally wrong ... You aren't interested in me... I am so sorry." I reply getting up to leave.

I reach the door when Casey grabs my waist and turns me around. "Alex... Don't go." she says softly.

"Casey, I made a mistake. I have to go." I reply not moving from her grasp, because right here feels so perfect.

She shakes her head, "Can we talk about this after you divorce?" she replies hugging me.

"I want to talk about it now." I whined.

She ignores me, "You should talk to your son and get some rest...I have to step out..."

"Because of me?" I ask still hugging her.

"Kind of..."

"Can you tell me this... Did I read that kiss wrong?" I ask her almost silently.

"No..." she replies leaving the room.

I didn't even get to ask her why didn't she go for it.

Well, if she wants to kiss me then I will take the initiative and kiss her. I quickly walk out of the apartment and see her standing by the elevator.

I walk quickly up to her. "Casey." I catch her attention... Then I crashed my lips on hers.

She quickly molded into mine and kissed back... That's when I knew everything will be ok.

She pulled me in by holding me at my waist.

I love feeling loved... I haven't felt that with Olivia in a long time.

She pulled away and this sad look in her eyes. "Alex, we can't..."

"Why can't we..."

She smiles and shakes her head and places a finger on my lips. "Alex, I meant we can't do this while you are technically still married... I want to give you space until you divorce...I was going to wait for that kiss...but, I am actually happy that you connected the dots... After all this time." she smiled and kissed my nose.

"Well...you have to give me props... I was married... And if you want to wait for whatever is happening between us, then I think I can wait, too." I reply not even believing what I am saying.

She smiles, "Well, I guess that I can go to my apartment since I couldn't avoid kissing you." she replies sighing.

She grabs my hand and walks me to her apartment... I am a little lost... Are we an item or just talking?

She shuts the door and gets in. She walks me to the couch.

"Well...we need to start moving your stuff out of your house to the apartment..." she smiles.

"I want to talk about... This." I wave my hands between us.

"Ok... What about _this_?" she repeats the same hand motion as I.

"What exactly is going on between us?" I ask her.

Her green eyes gleaming and her smile just shines. I want to kiss her again... So bad.

She licks her lips... "What do you mean?" she wants me to say it.

"Um... Are we a couple or... Friends...or talking..." I reply.

"Well, yea we are friends and yea we are obviously talking...Couple? Well that is for you to decide...After Olivia is out of the picture." she smiles, "Olivia...is not the type to let someone go...without a fight...I want to make sure I really got you." she smiled.

"She thought I slept with you... And she tried to kiss me." I realize that it wasn't relevant to the conversation.

"Wow...That is a bitter ex-wife for you." she states chuckling.

I nod, "I just need something new." I smile at the floor.

"I think I am already something new... I make you laugh, I made you run to kiss me, I am a womanizer..." she smiles smugly.

"You _are_ something new... Something wonderful... I am glad that I met you." I smile.

"Well how about that call... Call Max." she nudges me.

"Nice... Ruining the moment..." I reply grabbing my phone.

She shrugs.

I phone my mom.

"Put it on speaker." she whispers as it is ringing.

"Hello?" my mom picks up the phone.

"Hi mom. How's everything going?" I ask her.

"Great... How are you and Olivia...actually... Olivia told me that you were with someone and that you moved on. Is that..."

"It's complicated... Can I speak to Max?" I ask quickly.

"We will talk about this later Alexandra." She resize as I hear a shuffling of the phone.

I am a little embarrassed that Casey had to hear my mom telling a grown woman like me that we will talk about this later.

"Mommy?" I hear Max.

Just hearing his voice puts a smile on my face. "Hi... Babe. I miss you!"

"I miss you, too. Mom told me that you are moving away...an an you are finding me another mom... I don't want another mom! I want mom and you!" he sound like he is crying.

Talk about embarrassing. She smiles and tells me to hand her the phone. I tell her it is not a good idea.

She grabs the phone. "Hey Max, I am Casey, your moms co-worker." she speaks softly.

I know what is going to happen. I am going to be embarrassed and she will never talk to me again.

"Hi." he replies sobbing.

"I just want to tell you that you have the greatest mommy ever. She is smart and talented. Do be mad at her." she replies.

Oh no...

"My mom said she is divorcing her... That means split up."

"Do you know why your mommy is getting a divorce?" she asks

"No, but..."

"She is getting a divorce because Olivia, your mom, doesn't make her happy anymore and do you want your mommy to be happy?" she asks him.

I am surprised he hasn't shut down.

"Yes." he replies.

"If your mommy is happy with someone else... Can you try to be friends with that person?" she asks smiling.

"Yes! If it makes mommy happy." He s reams excitedly.

"Aww, you are a good kid. I have a lot of toys and coloring books for you... Ok, well, your mommy wants to say bye." she nods and passes the phone to me.

"Hey babe well I have to go... I will talk to you tomorrow." I reply.

"Ok... Tell Casey bye too." he replies.

I shut the phone and just stare at her. "Are you seriously perfect... My kid, never listens to me and once you tell him to be happy for me he decides to be happy?" I reply playing sad.

"I do have two nieces. You just have to hit them where it hurts of care about the most...and that's obviously you." she replies.

I swear she is perfect. So fucking prefect.


	8. Monday

**AN: Thanks for reviewing. Another chapter of cuteness...or...dum dum dum..**

**Monday**

Today is the day I start to work and lately I have been depressed. I miss Max and I haven't seen Casey since the day of our kiss.

She told me she probably couldn't control herself, so it is better to not see me. She helped me move all my things to my apartment and after that, I would call her and she wouldn't answer. Text, she wouldn't respond. At first I was ok with it. Now, I am just depressed. You just can't kiss someone and walk away.

I am glad that I work with her. Maybe then we can talk. I mean she is the one that wooed me. Why is she avoiding me?

I dress in one of my favorite suits and I have straightened my long golden hair. I am excited and nervous.

My phone starts ringing and I pick it up.

"Hey, I just wanted to say good luck on your first day back." Olivia spoke up.

"Thank you. Well, I have to go." I reply shutting the phone. I just realized that I will have to work with Olivia.

I drive to the building and enter. I head straight for McCoy's office. "Alex! Come in." he smiles.

"Good Morning," I reply.

"Ahh, same too you. Well Casey is out this whole week so you will have to do some of the work yourself. Here are your case files and your new assistant, Uh...Jenny or Jessica...something like that... Is right outside your office." he hands me a stack of files. "I look forward to your advancement." He nodded.

"Thank you." I replied getting out of the office. I headed to mine and to my surprise it was already, fully decorated, with all the office supplies she brought me.

I set my stuff down and sit down on my red, comfy chair and think.

She is avoiding me to the max now. Why isn't she calling me? Why did she take a whole week out of work?

The first hours of working were tough. I suddenly remembered how to do my job and I finished almost everything in the whole workday.

I am tired, but I decided to go to Casey's apartment.

I knocked on her door.

"Coming, sweetheart." Casey replied.

Sweetheart?

She opens the door and every ounce of happiness drained from her face. In fact, she became pale.

"A... Alex." she stuttered.

Why do I have the feeling she wasn't waiting up for me?

She is in a satin dark green dress.

Don't I feel shitty? All I can do is walk away so that is what I do.

She grabs my hand and I snatch it away. "Leave me alone." I state to her as I walk away. I knew I would make a fool of myself.

"Alex, I could explain." she replies.

I nod, "I bet you could."

I hold the urge to tear up and march towards the elevator.

I can't believe I was such an idiot to fall for this.

"Alex! I got back with my girlfriend... Chanel. We broke up two months ago and she came back... She wanted to reconnect. I didn't want to hurt you so I ignored your calls." She was right behind me.

I didn't even turn around. "You went after me, Casey. You could have warned me. I was so close to falling for you. I am so happy I didn't because this would have hurt a lot more." I reply entering the elevator.

She had this sullen expression and watched as the elevator doors closed.

It is better this way. I have no doubt that I can get over her.

The elevator door opens and a woman, elegantly dressed, who enters and smiles.

"Oh, Hello." She smiles.

I smile as I head out, "Hi."

From my peripheral I see someone running towards me. I haven't gotten out of the elevator yet.

"Alex!" I hear Casey scream.

I quickly look to my right as I am exiting the elevator.

"What the hell?" Chanel replies also getting out of the elevator.

Casey gazes at me, "Sorry Chanel. You can't just come back to my life and just start from where we left off. I fell for another woman. Who is smart, gentle..." she grabs my hand and kisses it. "Sexy and a hot ass mother. I connected with her and I don't think I can lose her to you. She is a precious stone. I really hope she can forgive me." she smiles at me.

I commend her. It took a lot of courage to break up with your girlfriend and hold someone else.

I nod.

"I am glad. Will you be my girlfriend?" She asks innocently.

"Yes, I would love to." I smile.

She leans in to kiss me.

"Casey! What the hell? How dare you!" Chanel yells.

"I just did what you wouldn't do with me. We are done." Casey replies entering the elevator with me in her hand.

Chanel just stares blankly at the elevator as the door shuts.

Casey grabs me and pulls me in.

"I am so sorry Alex." she leans in and darts her tongue on my lips. "Sometimes... I don't think. I really do care about you, I swear and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you." she smiles.

"Really?" I ask.

"Really." I know she means it. Her eyes say it all. She is apologetic and means everything she says.

The elevator doors opened on my floor.

We don't move, "Alex, how was work?" she asked.

I take the initiative and grab her hand and lead her to my apartment.

"It was ok. I finished reviewing all thirteen cases. Except the Jackson case. That was all he say she say. No evidence." I reply entering the apartment.

"Wow. This place has really molded your personality to it." She replies. "How is Max?" she replies.

"He asks for you all the time... He is doing great. I really miss him though." I reply sitting on the couch.

"Aww, that is so cute. I miss his voice." she states, "I wish we could call him, but he should be in bed. It is nearly midnight." She replies.

I lean on her.

"You are getting divorced tomorrow. What are you feeling?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I feel that I am adding to the percentage of divorced couples in the United States. I know it is right... It's just I feel so depressed and I just want this over so I can live my life." I reply.

"Hey, I will make you happy. Just so you know... It is Chanel's birthday." She happily throws that out there.

"Wow. You are horrible." I reply laughing.

"I wanted you, not her. Good thing I realized that sooner."

I smile and lean and kiss her. "So, 'girlfriend', what do you want to do tonight?" I ask her.

"Although, I love the girlfriend title. I would love to be known as your wife one day." I see her eyes sparkling."I just want to say in this position forever." she smiles. "By the way, you are hot with glasses. You look especially sexy tonight." she kisses my forehead.

"Thank you. You want to marry me? We have just started dating." I reply smiling.

"So. I kinda like you and tomorrow I want to be there with you when you divorce Olivia." she pauses, "Has Olivia harassed you lately?"

"This morning she called to give me good luck." I reply. "She hasn't really since I moved out..."

"Good." she simply states.

"What did you do?" I interrogate her.

"Nothing." she replies quickly.

I get off of her. She is hiding something I can see it in her eyes. "Casey..." I draw out.

"What?" she smiles and rolls her eyes.

"Casey..." I repeat once again.

"I just told her to move on... For Max. She needs to pick up her life and find someone that means most to her as much as you, because you are going back to the dating scene and I am getting feelings for you and she told me she understands and I shouldn't hurt you because you are one of the good ones she let slip away. She loves you and she won't forget you, Mainly because you have a kid together." she jokes.

"Aww, you are the sweetest thing in the world." I kiss her cheek.

"Wow, the time... We have to sleep. Work tomorrow." She gets up.

"Hey...aren't you off for the rest of the week?" I ask her.

"Not anymore." she smiles.

"Then, can you sleep with me...cuddle, I mean."

"I wasn't going to leave." she smiled grabbing my hand.

I can't believe how I could be so depressed to super excited in one day.

**AN: What do you think? Alex and Casey? **


	9. Divorce

**AN: Will try to update expectations :)**

Today is going to be a sad and great day. Finally divorcing Olivia and a part of me is going to miss her... The old her at least.

She used to be loving and caring... That was the Olivia I loved. Now... Now we are divorcing and I have a new someone to wake me up and make me smile.

I am ready to head off to the court and I am waiting for Casey to get ready. I hope her being there doesn't cause raucous in the court... That would make me look bad.

I already told McCoy that I am not coming to work and Casey decided not to go to work also. She said something along the lines of "I would miss work just to know that you will be mines forever." isn't that the cutest thing?

Now looking back... Casey was chasing me down. I didn't even know her and she invited me in her house. I slept over, twice. Not only that she has shown me over and over that she loves kids. It must have been love at first sight. Although, it wasn't like that with me... I have grown to love her presence around me.

"Hey, sexy pants!" Casey yells.

I notice that she has been standing in front of me for quite a while.

"Sorry." I reply getting off the couch.

"Umm... You are gorgeous. I am even surprised Olivia let you go." She smiles and kisses me. "Alright! Let's get you divorced!" she is so excited about this.

On our drive there she wanted to play the question game...

"How do you even play?" I ask skeptically.

"Forget it..." She looks at the road. "Um... Alex... I am sorry. I know that you forgave me, but I couldn't help but feel crappy. I went after you and I just dropped you because my ex came back into the picture..."

"Casey it's..."

She shakes her head, "It's not ok. I have to earn your trust and I just threw it like it was nothing to me. I am just trying to say... I really, really like you and I will do everything in my power to treat you like you should be treated. Like a princess." she smiles at me.

"Aww... That is so sweet." I tell her. I admit that I was hurt yesterday. I wanted to run, but she caught me and broke up with her girlfriend while looking at me, like I was the only one in the room... Not only that, but it was her ex's b-day. That takes a lot of guts and devotion. I forgave her for her actions and her heart.

We arrive to the building and I enter the divorce court and I see Olivia... She is in her usua. I was hoping I would get a greeting from her... I don't. She didn't even make eye contact.

To make a long day short... We just sign off on what we agreed on and made the marriage null and void. Now I am a happily divorced woman.

I turned and Casey smiled at me. I looked at where Olivia was sitting and she was not there... I wanted to talk to her about arrangements... Maybe that can hold for another day.

"Congratulations!" Casey smiles at me and hugs me.

I shyly smile at her. I am actually really happy... But thinking about Olivia makes me sad. With all my being I try to forget her, but I can't. I still care about her and I still love her. I am not in love with her, but I do want her to find love.

Casey gazes at me with shifting, worried eyes. "Alex... Is there something bothering you?" she asks.

I shake my head.

She doesn't believe me, but she leaves it alone.

While in the car she decides to bring it up again. "I wanted to celebrate, but it seems like you want to just lye down... Can you tell me what's bothering you Alex?" she asks.

"It's nothing... I just... Olivia made me feel depressed. I want to talk to her, but she was a robot, she avoided eye contact..." I told her.

She was sad... I could see it even though she tried to hide it. "So... Umm... The precinct is right here... I see her car... I could park here and wait." she turns toward me and fakes a smile.

"Thank you." I reply. "I want to talk about Max's arrangements." I tell her so she can stop thinking the worst.

I notice her complexion change. She is really smiling right now. "Oh, I'll wait here."

I lean and give her a kiss.

I enter the precinct and see Elliot. He takes me to the side. "Hey, what are you doing here?" he asks rather harshly.

"Where's Olivia?" I ask him twice as coldly.

"In the crib. She is sleeping... So..." he tells me.

I just walk by him and enter the crib. I lock the door and walk to where she is. "I couldn't help but notice that you left early... I wanted to talk to you." I tell her.

"Yea... What do you want to talk about?" she asks still laying down on one of the beds.

I find my way and sit on the bed across from her. "Our arrangements with Max."

"I thought about that. We can do, Uh, every other weekend. Or every two weeks."

I agree... "That sounds fine. Do you want him this week?" I ask her.

"I would love that, yea." she replies sitting up now. "Alex... I am sorry, about us, ruining our family and I know now that I lost you for good and know that I will be there for you..." she gets up and hugs me. "I am going to miss you, Lexie."

She hasn't called me that in a long time. "Same, Liv." I reply.

I am not as depressed. I feel as if there is something out there for me.

I head back to the car and smile to myself because I still have someone who can care for me in an intimate way.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

"Better than I thought... I let her have Max... For two weeks. I was going in for less, but I really want her to be happy." I tell her.

She leans to kiss me. "Great! So that gives me two weeks to prepare for Max... Ooh I am going to bring my nieces and throw a huge party! He will love it." she smiles gleefully.

"Case... You don't..."

She starts pouting, "but I want to..." she crosses her arms.

"How about we drive to my moms house right now and get him... You can get to know him and then we can go to Olivia's house and drop him off... I really miss him and he is going to be in Olivia's house for two whole weeks... I say we can do the party." I tell her.

Her smile is huge. "Yes! Better start driving!" she started the car and drove off straight to my mom's house.

**AN: What do you think? Alex? Olivia's Apology? Casey?**


	10. Trouble

**AN: I have been busy all this week sadly and I wrote this yesterday. So here you go. I think you will like this chapter.**

Something about Casey gives me hope, that there is always someone out there for you. Sitting next to her, in a car, driving to my mom's house, to see my son... Is not something you usually do with your girlfriend... I mean, not this early in a relationship.

She clutches my hand and rubs it with her thumb. Slightly turning her head to smile at me.

"You are beautiful." She softly tells me looking back at the road.

I know that I am blushing. I can't help it. She is so graceful and kind.

"Thank you." I reply.

"I want to kiss you right now. Unfortunately, there are cars traveling sixty miles per hour and I want you alive and well for Max." She states sweetly.

"I would love to kiss you, too. You are so sweet." I reply to her.

"Alex, do you still... Never mind. Where do I turn?" she asked.

"The right. And do I still what?" I ask curiously.

"Nothing." she nervously chuckles to herself. "Which house?" she tries to change the subject.

"The yellow one... Casey! Do I still what?" I ask her as my curiosity reaches it's peak.

"Can we talk about this later? We have a kid to pick up." she smiles brightly. Her dimples showing off.

I let it go for now, because nothing makes me smile more than finally seeing my kid. If it's like this, I wonder how bad will it be when he is in college.

Casey stops in front of the gate. "This is where you grew up?" she asks astonished.

I nod my head, "It's not that..."

"Alexandra?" a robust man walked to my window.

"Hey George. Can you open the gate?" I ask him.

He smiles and nods.

As we travel through the threshold Casey seems to be so stunned that she asks the same question. "This, is where you grew up?" she asks.

I nod my head. "It's not that amazing. I was bored all my life living there, alone. My parents decided to have another child when I went off to college." I tell her. What I didn't tell her was how she died and that is a separate part all together.

"You never told me you had a sister!" she smiles so brightly.

Desperate to change the conversation, "Well, I am certainly not going to stay in this car forever." I unbuckled my seat belt and exited the car.

She smiled and followed.

I knock on my moms door. Of course my cousin, Kelly, opens the door.

She looks at Casey and stares back at me. "Hey, Alex. Your mom stepped out. I can carry Max's luggage to the car for now." she gazes at me.

"Ok, this is Casey Novak... My um friend." I point at Casey and she shakes Kelly's hand.

Something in Casey's demeanor changed. She looks a little ticked off. I ignore it for now as I enter my house and sit in the couch, inches away from her. I really don't want my family thinking that I divorced my wife and grabbed a fuck buddy the same day. Not that Casey is a fuck buddy, but that is how my family thinks.

We wait for about a couple minutes and I hear my mom come in and she is quieter than normal so I get up and head towards the door. Casey follows.

I see my mom carrying Max, who is asleep. She smiles at me and hands me him.

"Hey sweetie." she whispers. She stares at Casey.

"Hey mom." I hug her. "Mom, this is Casey. A friend from work." I add.

My mom nods and shakes her hand.

"Casey Novak. Nice to meet you Mrs. Cabot." Casey simply states.

"Alex, I can take him to the car, if you'd like." Casey tells me.

I nod and hand him over.

She steps out. My mom stares at me.

"What?" I ask her.

"Alex, I approved of Olivia. Now, if you think that you can bring someone here to meet me and think that it is all fine and dandy, you are wrong. You just divorced, Alex. You need to heal." she tells me.

I shake my head, "Mom... She is just a friend. She means nothing."

Just as those words left my mouth I see a figure run back outside.

Shit!

My mom looks at me. "Alright." she sighs. "See you soon? Right?" my mom asks.

I nod and hug her.

I head to the car to which Casey is in the passenger seat.

I open the driver's door and enter. My heart breaks as I see Casey crying.

I don't know how to fix this. "Casey... What you heard back there..."

"We... Us... I never meant anything to you Alex? I tried my hardest to get you and I get this." she sobs.

"Casey, look... There is a kid in the car. We can talk about this later." I tell her.

She just stays quiet the whole ride back. I reach our apartment building. She says nothing to me. She grabs Max and I take the suitcase.

She carries him all the way to my floor and even places him in his room to sleep.

She was about to leave the apartment until I stopped her. "Case..."

"Alex... Just... Let's stop seeing each other ok? I can't do this." she opens the door and walks out.

Of course I run after her. "Casey, you mean the world to me. What you did for me and my son is so loving and caring. Casey... My family... Would think low of you if I told them you were my girlfriend... I just divorced and now I have a beautiful, smart, sexy, red head I can play with... They would think the worst. I didn't want that for you." I tell her.

"I don't care, Alex. I don't care what people perceive me as. I am a grown adult. I can protect my own image." she is red faced and about to cry again.

I just lost her.

Then it happens. It slips. I don't even know where this came from.

"Casey, please..." I beg her to stay.

"No. Alex, we are over." she sadly walks away.

"Casey... I love you!" I can't believe those words left my mouth. I felt it, but I didn't want to say it this early.

She turns around rapidly. She gazes into my eyes. "What?" she is unreadable. I don't know if she will run away or is just wanting me to repeat it.

"I love you, Casey." I tell her.

She pulls me by the waist. "Do you mean that? You are not just saying it?" she asks.

"I mean it." I tell her proudly.

A smile breaks in her face. She leans to kiss me. She pulls me in for a deeper more sensual kiss.

"I love you, too, Alex." she is smiling uncontrollably.

**AN: What do you think? Casey? Alex?**


	11. The Question

**AN: Tell me what you think? Sorry for late post. I was watching the game…**

You believe sometimes that your whole world is fixed and then it just comes crashing down.

"But _I love you_ is not going to fix anything. My ex…never mind. I need to clear my head; I'll talk to you tomorrow." Her smile faded as did mines.

Her steps were like daggers. I couldn't let her leave. She cared about my thoughts and feelings, I should do the same.

"Casey, I didn't say it to fix anything…that is how I feel. My…I was scared to tell my mom… about us. I just divorced Olivia. She may think the worst of you…She loves Olivia, Casey… and I just…I didn't want you…I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." I speak to her softly but assuring her that she means something me.

She doesn't turn around.

I walk up to her and grab her hand. I see her crying and I wipe her tears away. "You are so kind and genuine. I love you and I know I will never stop. Please…At least stay."

She nods, "This doesn't mean I am not angry with you." She answers harshly.

"I know…but it is a step. If it makes you feel better, I will open up a little tonight. You can ask me anything you want." I smile at her.

She smiles back I know it wasn't authentic, she forced it. I will take that for now.

I entangle my fingers with hers and lead her to the apartment.

Once there I shut the door and sit on the couch. She sits away from me.

"What do you want to know?" I ask her breathing in. I am not one to let people prod into my personal life. The only person that knows my past is Olivia, and it was hard to even open up to her. She learned about everything a year after we got married.

Here I am opening up to Casey Novak, an extraordinary woman I met and she makes me happy.

She turns towards me and gazes into my eyes. Finally, she is looking at me…although that look seems cold. Her pupils so small, forcing the green to shine bright. Her cheek and eyes are red from crying.

"Do you still love Olivia?" She attempted to speak softly but it came out as cold as her words before.

I was taken aback by this. "Yes…"

She rolled her eyes and stood up.

I got up as quickly too. "You didn't let me finish, Casey."

"You don't need to." She walked towards the door. The apparent anger in her voice made it known that she took the answer the wrong way.

"Casey…Olivia was my wife for five years…not to forget the three years we were dating…of course I care about her and I love her…but I fell out of love with her a long time ago. I found someone else. I found you. So stop trying to run, because I know you feel the same too." I stroke the back of her hand. "Can we please finish prodding in my life?" I joke.

She chuckle a little. Finally! She is smiling.

"You are corny." She smiles as I lead her to the couch…This time I am laying on her lap.

"No, I'm not…I just speak from my heart." I reply back.

"Since you gave me permission to prod…Where's your dad?" Casey asked. She is very observant.

"Well…in a case he was working on…he was dealing with these men and they bribed him so that they could get a lesser sentence. My dad wouldn't do it so they shot him."

"I am so sorry." She started playing with my hair.

"No…he didn't die. He is in witness protection. I never have seen him since. My mother and I aren't in witness protection because these guys thought he was single. I miss him." I tell her softly.

"Did they every catch these guys?" She asks curiously.

"Not yet…They think these guys fled to Brazil or something…" I answer.

She nods. "Do you have any demons?"

"Do you?" I answer with a question.

"I asked you first." She answers back.

"Are we really going to do this?" I ask her.

"You said I could ask anything I want." Casey replies.

Yep…I said that.

"I don't have." I answer simply.

"Really?" She asks lifting her eyebrow.

I nod. "None whatsoever. I do have two angels." I smile.

"And who would that be?" she asks.

"Max and a certain red head…" I tell her as a matter-of-fact, "I mean I thought everyone had those two angels." I tell her.

She is smiling brightly now. That is a far cry from her anger at me earlier.

She leans down to kiss me. "You've always been my angel." She whispers in my ear.

"Since when?" I ask her.

"Nope…I am not answering." She shakes her head.

I get off her lap. "Why not?" I ask seriously.

"One, I never said I could be prodded and number two…you might think I am weird. So the answer is no." She answers back.

Well, I am Alexandra Cabot. I am also known for getting what I want.

"I would never think you are weird…In fact it may make me love you even more…if it were possible…" I tell her smiling.

"Fine…Wait… No, Noooo. I am not giving into you Alex." She changes her mind.

"Aww…but look at this face. You know you want to tell me." I give her a pouty face.

She smiles. I know I got her where I want her.

"When you quit…I was in the elevators with you and you looked sad…" She pauses.

"I don't remember that…" I tell her so she can go on.

"Well…you were hot and I flirted with you and when we got to the lobby…You told me you were taken and walked out of the elevators…I was confused because you flirted back and I had this whole fantasy that you would somehow come to my office and tell me you wanted me…I don't know…" She shyly looked away.

"I am sorry for being so rude…and leading you on…I really don't remember…" I tell her smiling. I cupped her face and leaned to kiss her. "That was a cute story babe…I am pretty tired…and we have work tomorrow so how about we sleep so we can…"

"Mommy?" I hear Max.

I quickly move away from Casey and look at him rubbing his eyes.

"Hey babe…What's wrong?" I am guessing he didn't see anything. Not that I don't want him to know Casey…but this maybe all too quick for him and I don't want to overwhelm him.

He comes and sits between Casey and I and leans on her. "I'm awake…" he smiles.

Casey looks at me a little shock that he leaned on her. "Hey…Max. I'm Casey…Do you remember me from the phone?"

"You were mad in the car at mommy." He crosses his arm and leans on me.

Casey looks from me to him. "I was…but not anymore…" She smiles.

Ah…she is so cute.

"Max…It's late. Let me take you to bed." I wink at her as I walk into the room with him and place him on his bed.

"Is she going to be my new mom?" He asks.

I turn around and see Casey leaning on the door.

This question is going to kill me…


	12. The Dream

**AN: I have not updated in a while, but I think this is an ominous chapter. **

I realize I do not know how long she has been there but it does not matter. I need to answer him.

Then, it hits me. I know the answer to this question. I am just uneasy about what her reaction might be.

I do know that she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and I do too. I just do not know if this is going to overwhelm her being my girlfriend and a…I do not even have a word for it.

I look straight into my sons' eyes and inhale. "I love her and if she wants," I smile, "I would love her to be a part of our family. I do not want you to replace mom…She will always be in your life." I smile at him. He nods as I tuck him in.

"Good night, sweetie." I tell him as I walk out of the room and shut the door.

Casey is eyeing and excessively smiling at me.

"What?" I ask her as I make my way back to the couch.

She sits down next to me. "That's was cute what you said back there." She moved her arms around me and pulled me closer.

"That was what I felt. I meant it." I smile as I cuddle up to her.

"Well, I love you too. Since we both have work, we _should _sleep. It's getting late." She looks at the time on her phone.

"I don't wanna." I lean up on her. "I want this to last forever." I grab her hand. "Sorry, again, about earlier-"

"To tell you the truth…I felt that…you thought we were not going anywhere as a couple. That is what hurt me. However, I understand why you didn't tell your mom." Casey smiled.

I know for sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She is smart, funny, giving, and faithful. Most of all, she is my girlfriend and I am lucky I have her.

"Thank you for understanding." I reply.

"I say we sleep on a comfortable bed. I am not ready to feel sore tomorrow morning." She stands up and picks me up off the couch.

"Whoa…" I was about to protest.

"Shush… and let me do my job." She walks into the room with a smile plastered on her face.

She gently lays me in bed and tucks me in. "Alright…Well good night princess and I hope you have sweet dreams." She leans and lays a gentle kiss on my temple.

"Wait, where are you going?" I ask her as she turns around and heads out.

She points with her thumb towards the door, "My apartment…You know…where I live." She smiles.

"Ha ha…Why aren't you staying here?" I pout.

"Because…you have a kid…I don't want to confuse him. It's just for tonight…I will sleep with you tomorrow and the day after that…and the day after that-"

"I get it." I interrupt her, "Alright then, good night." I tell her as she walks out.

As I am trying to sleep, my phone vibrates and I reach to grab it off the night table.

I start to blink rapidly as my eyes adjust to the apparent brightness on my phone.

_Alex you must hate me…I forgot to say I Love You…So I am texting it. I love you, sweet dreams._

_Your one and only, _

_Casey _

Yea…I could not stop reading it…repeatedly, and I texted her back that I love her too. That was sweet of her.

I finally sleep. While asleep, I get this dream.

_Its dark and I see light. As I am running towards the light, I bump into my old life. No, more like a movie screen around me showing my old life. Memories that are intimate, familiar, and maybe I will never forget._

_On one screen, Olivia is ice-skating with me at the rink. I remember that day all too well. I was so happy, looked so happy. Then, this woman came up to us._

"_Excuse me…My children skate here and I would love it if you showed your…" She paused to find the right words, the word that will make that evening, dark. "Gayness…"_

_The woman walked away with her kids. Olivia was distraught. I have seen it in her eyes far too many times. This sent her on her search. I never knew what she was looking for but the next day she broke it off with me. I did not understand why, at that time, but I did know it hurt her. She was never one to act in accordance with with someone's criticism…but she did, at least this time. _

_Well, as I continue running towards the light, tears overwhelm me. Then, on this screen, I see an all too familiar memory. It is of Casey running from my mom's house to the car as I just said those words that stung her heart._

_I got so close to the light, and I am crying even more. Once I reach the light, I see Max._

_I quickly run to him._

"_Please save mom." He cries. Tears are flowing out of him as I comfort him._

"_Baby, what do you mean?" I ask him._

_He points to two buttons. He hands it to me. Over the red button reads Olivia and over the green button reads Casey._

_I am confused and I look at him and he is pointing at Olivia and Casey held a gun point._

"_Please save mom." He hugs me._

_I cannot let Casey die. There has to be another way. I know he needs his mom, but Casey needs to be safe, too._

"_There's got to be another way!" I keep screaming._

I feel someone shaking me. "Alex, wake up." I know that voice.

"Casey…"I open my eyes.

"You had a nightmare." She smiles gently, only to cover the apparent worry lines that are trickling her face. "Are you ok?" She asks softly.

I rub my eyes. Although I do not feel ok, I nod. I do not want her to lose sleep over me.

She raises her brows, "Are you sure?"

"Yea…I need to get ready for work." I hug her and I head into the bathroom. "Oh…Can you get Max ready? That would be very appreciated." I tell her.

She nods, "Yay! I mean…Sure…" She chuckles.

"Alright, Thanks, Love you." I tell her before disappearing into the bathroom.

For several minutes, I just stood there. I looked at myself in the mirror. I mean really looked at myself. Who would I have chose? I mean, does it matter? It is not as if it would happen in reality. Yet, it continues to drift in my mind.

I hear a knock. "Alex, are you ok?"

I quickly lift the facet open and throw water on my face. "Yes, fine." I answer as I begin to clean up for work.

Once we were done, I took Max in my car and drove to Olivia's' to drop him off.

I knocked on her door waiting. She opened it smiling, at me then at Max. She picked him up and hugged him.

"Aww, I missed you." She kisses him and puts him down. "I have your room clean so go play." She moves as she lets him in.

"Alex, are you ok?" she asks with a concerned look on her face.

I usually cannot hide anything from Olivia but I nod anyways. "I'm fine. You two have fun." I vaguely smile and head back to my car.

She didn't believe me but it isn't her place to care.

**AN: What do you think? What does that dream mean? Why does it bother Alex so much? **


	13. Bother

**AN: Sorry for not updating this story :( forgive me? Hope you do :) I kind of laughed at the end of this chapter... Well, without further a due… **

I sat in my car for a few seconds forcing myself to think of something else…anything else. This dream is just…too real…or complicated. It continues to room its way into my mind and I find myself crying. I do not know why…maybe it is overwhelming me…I need to go to work, and take my mind off things…If I can.

My eyes are on the road and I am concentrating on driving. My phone rings after a minute. I look at the road and use my right hand to rummage around my bag and I grab it and touch the green-lit icon.

"Cabot." I answer.

"Hey, baby…is everything alright? Olivia said you left an hour ago and…you are only about ten minutes away to here from there…I was worried." She sounds flustered, not her normal confident…'I can get Alex Cabot to love me' self.

"I just have a lot to think about. You know…work and everything…feels overwhelming." I sigh. "Look, I just pulled in... I'll see you at the office." I shut the phone just as she was preparing to say 'I love you.' I just do not want to hear those words right now.

Am I stupid? How can I let a dream shake me up like this? I am the fearing, relentless, brave, confident, Alexandra Cabot, and if I let a dream like this bother me…then I have torn down all that I worked to be.

I breathe in once and exhale and enter the building headed straight to my office where a woman, not too shorter than I, starts following me and telling me what I have scheduled. I tell her to make several changes and by the time I know it, I am at the door to my shared office with my beautiful redhead. I thank her and I enter my office.

I do not see Casey and I am going to assume she is in court…but how could that be? She just called me…

"Blahh!"

I quickly jump back and hit my head to the wall. "Fuck! Shit, Casey…you scared the shit out of me!" I scream at her and I bring my hand to touch my head.

She quickly runs and grabs a seat and makes me sit.

She starts cracking up. "Sorry…Sorry…I thought it would have been cute to see your horrified face." She blushes quickly. "Sorry…I can kiss your boo-boo away. It usually works with my nieces." She smiled at me shyly, obviously cursing herself for my clumsiness.

"It's ok…it doesn't even hurt…and my heart is beating normally now…nothing to be sorry for…was my face cute? I do not what to disappoint you." I tell her smiling.

I swear I saw her eyes twinkle as she bent down and looked up at me. "You are always cute…so no…you didn't disappoint." She moved up to kiss me, but before I could even get into the kiss, she ends it.

"I love you." She smiles and pushes my chair behind the desk. "Now, get to work Ms. Cabot. These cases aren't going to argue for themselves." She walks to her seat and sits there.

Then it slips…I do not even know where this has come from. "Why?" I ask her. I quickly give all my attention to the pen, chiding myself.

"It's your job…" I can feel her overpowering glare at me.

"No…I mean why? Did you do all this for me?" I state, my eyes ogling the red pen in my hand.

"I don't follow…" She trails off to get me to elaborate.

"This," I gesture with my hands. "You took me shopping…You helped me find an apartment. You shopped for my son…Why?" I ask her. I finally meet her gaze at the other side of the room. Her expression is a mixture of confusion and amazement.

"I love you-"

"But, you were doing this…before…we…were together. Why?" I force out.

She suddenly turns cherry red at the cheeks. "I do not know…I…I told you already…I was in love with you…before we ever started this…where is this coming from?" She smiled slightly and walks over to me and lifts me off my chair…I am suddenly dizzy but I decide to worry about that later.

"Alex…Just know whatever I do for you…I do it out of love…I only had good intentions. Trust me." She pulled me into a hug and I whispered in her ear. "I trust you." I stifle a cry and Casey notices.

Notices that there is something bothering me…I have only known her for a couple weeks and she already knows me. Am I that readable?

She cups my face and searches my eyes, "Alex, something has been bothering you all day…You have been acting weird. What's wrong?" She asks concerned.

I shake my head, and before I can say, 'nothing, I am fine' she gives me a death glare.

I stay quiet.

"Alex, you just said you trusted me." She looks into my eyes.

"I do." I assure her. "I just…It's not important…We have job to do and I think these victims are more important." I tell her and in a forfeited sigh, she walks off to her desk.

We didn't talk for the rest of the day, granted we each did have court and I ate lunch alone while she was getting warrants…we still didn't talk when we found ourselves together again.

It is around nine and I am done with my cases, and I know she arrived to the office by taxi and I see her wrapping up too so I push my rolling chair to her desk and grab her hand, which she immediately takes back and stands up.

"Casey…" I begin.

She lifts her hand to stop me. "Good Night, Cabot." She opens the door and turns back to say something but does not.

I head to my desk and compile my personal items and leave quickly to follow her.

I finally get her at the parking lot. "Casey…Look this relationship thing…is hard for me…I keep hurting you…unintentionally…I…just divorced Olivia…and…"

She quickly whips around and her complexion is similar to the expression she gave me when she heard what I told my mother.

"Alex!" She raises her voice at me, "Don't you get it…you don't trust me…If you trusted me enough you would have told me what was bothering you and trust that I would help you and now you are pulling excuses out of your ass…" She inhales and stalks away.

"I had a dream…" I start and she suddenly stops walking but does not turn around. "It was horrible and…" Somehow, I start crying and she is comforting me.

"Aww, baby, it was just a dream…why didn't you want to tell me?" She asks in a soft soothing voice.

"It was…about you…" I do not want to get into the details and she does not push either, why was I so afraid…I should trust her…what has she done not to gain my trust.

"It's ok…It's late. Let's go home and rest." She lifts my chin and smiles.

I wipe my tears and shake my head, "I have to tuck in Max…" I smile slightly.

She nods and seems like she is contemplating. "Ok…we can fit that in." She smile and enters the passenger side and takes my free hand in hers.

* * *

I arrive to my- Olivia's home, and I tell Casey to wait for me in the car. I grab the spare key and walk to the front of the door.

The closer I get to the door, I hear a louder and louder scream, coming from inside the house. I quickly unlock the door and adrenaline starts rushing through me.

The scream is coming from Olivia's bedroom. She could defend herself from criminals…Right?

As my thoughts are flying a hundred miles an hour, I think of where Max could be. On the other hand, has he already been killed? No, A Cabot does not think like that.

So I decide to help Olivia and I run to her bedroom door and open it and What I saw was…I just shut the door quickly, while Olivia covered herself up…Amanda Rollins…who would have known she was a screamer.

I rub my temples and pass my hand through my face. Apparently…Shocked…

Olivia gets out of the room a few minutes later with a robe on. "You don't read your damn messages?" She screams and whispers at the same time.

I shake my head and absentmindedly pull out my phone…Its out of battery. "No…you are having…while our son is asleep in the other room? For god sakes Olivia! What type of parent are you?" I ask her in awe.

"The one that sends her child to a babysitter." She stares me down.

"I thought you were in danger…I heard screaming and I…"

"I can handle myself…Now…can you please leave as I try to clean this mess up?" She roars at me.

Like a berated child, I quickly stride out of the house… "She's louder than me." I tell her over my shoulder.

I can feel a smile break out in her face as she answers, "Way louder…"

I know my cheeks are burning red and there is no way I can hide my embarrassment in the car.

"How did it go?" Casey asks smiling.

"Uhm…awkward…Max wasn't there." I answer her and I buckle up and start the car.

I explained to her what happened on our way home and she could not stop laughing…literally.

"I can't believe you tried to rescue somebody who did not want to be saved…" She pauses. "Wow, Amanda Rollins…She will be so embarrassed to ever ask you for a warrant." She starts chuckling once more.

I nod, "I know…It's so embarrassing!" I sigh.

"Look at the bright side…you don't have to worry about Olivia…she found happiness too." She smiles.

"Yea…" I yawn.

"I still can't get that picture out of my head." Casey starts cracking up.

"You were not there! I was…" I use my free hand to playfully hit her shoulder.

"I know…but, I have an imaginative mind." She answers. "I mean can't you imagine…one day, one of our kids walking in on us having sex…"She starts giggling.

"What makes you think we are going to have kids?" I ask her playfully and wondering what her answer might be.

"Well, when two people love each other…"

I hit her before she finishes.

"I love you." I tell her parking the car.

"I love you too."

Yes, by far today has not been the best day but I know spending it with a certain redhead can change that.

**AN: What do you think? Will try to update every week or twice a week as with the others also, because now I am free, no school :)**


	14. Finding Trust

**AN: Hope you like this chapter, deals with Alex's trusting issues and I will post two new stories this week….hopefully :) Enjoy.**

* * *

"So Alex, why is it so hard to trust me?" Casey wonders as we cuddle up in her couch.

We just finished eating dinner, compliments of Casey and now we are relaxing.

There are certain things I hate talking about, and this is one. I swear I trust her, or at least I try to. However something keeps nagging in my head. I do not want this relationship to end like my marriage.

I admit that I am also to blame for our divorce, but Olivia is the main perpetrator.

I gave up everything for Olivia; my job, my heart, and as bad as this sounds I was never planning on having a kid, ever, although that mindset has drastically changed over the years, it was Olivia's wants that were always over mine. I am just taking precautions, and although I know that Casey has put me before her numerous times, I am afraid that one of us will get hurt, and lately that's all I have been doing to her. I have been pushing her away.

Maybe, it is hard to believe that Alexandra Cabot is scared, but I am. I may have been this ice princess back in the day; however under that exterior I was hiding the emotions I had, when I was faced with a hard case or the death of a victim. That is all I will ever know.

When I was with Olivia for the first couple years of marriage, that shield came down. However, as fast as it came down, it went back up and as our marriage progressed, it had gotten worse.

My shield is still up. Casey has somehow managed to bring it down a couple of times, something Olivia has never been successful at. Casey has done nothing to show me that she should not be trusted… besides that incident with her ex, which I am pretty sure will never occur again.

"Alex?" Casey pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm." I answer lying on her lap.

"I asked you a question," She chuckles.

"Oh." I reply.

"Are you going to answer it?" She asks smiling.

"Not today." I answer her truthfully, but knowing Casey, she will drag it out of me.

"Not today?" She echoes back. "Alex… Just answer the question…It will only help you." she is serious now.

So I change the subject, "I am tired…" I sit up and stand up and head for the bedroom, but Casey grabs my wrist gently, and with force, but not enough to hurt me.

She is standing now too. "You need to stop running away, Alex."

"Look who's talking," I counter.

She glares at me with disdain in her eyes, "We aren't talking about me, Alex." She huffs back.

"Sorry. I just don't want to talk about it, ok?" I turn to walk away, however she still has a firm grasp on my arm and pulls me back to her and we are even closer than before.

"Please, just tell me. It is only on question. Alex…Did Olivia…do something to you?" Anger is inflected in her voice.

"No." I plainly reply.

"They why won't you tell me why you don't trust me?" Casey gazes into my eyes

"I trust you…Ok. I am just bad at showing it. I'll get the hang of it." I reply.

"Bullshit." Casey heads to the couch and picks up her bag and grabs her coat. "Either you trust someone or you don't. I don't understand what is so hard to admit. It is obvious you are scared, Alex, and I get that; coming from a relationship of so many years and to have your heart broken at the end. You gave Olivia and your relationship with her you're all and she just stomped all over it." She pauses, "I bet you cried every night. She did this to you… She made you put on a protective exterior…but what you don't understand is that I am not Olivia, you don't have to act tough around me Alex, because I fell for the real you not your tough exterior that shuts me out every time I am trying to get in." with saddened eyes she gives me one glance and sighs, "We have work tomorrow, good night." She shuts the door softly as she exits.

I don't even move to go after her. The reason? She was right…about everything. I should just let this blow off for a night. Hopefully she is not hoping I will go after her.

I head to bed and I can't sleep… No, I am afraid to sleep, although I really need it right now. Yes, Alex Cabot is terrified that once she shuts her eyes, a nightmare will occur once more.

I lay in bed for a couple of hours and by the time I know it, it is three in the morning. Since I know that I will never fall asleep I decide that I should truly prove to Casey that I trust her, and in order to do that, I must tell her something that I do not want to talk about…Tell her the reason I became an ADA for the Special Victims Unit.

I dress up in sweat pants and a hoodie. I head to Casey's apartment. I knock on her down once softly, hoping not to wake her neighbors. She didn't answer, so I knock a little louder.

I start to her shuffling and turning of the lock. "Alex?" Casey's voice is huskier than normal and her voice full of confusion and grogginess.

"Can I come in?" I ask.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Casey asks before cracking the door open wider for me to step through.

I nod. I notice my breathing get shallower after staring at Casey's sleeping attire. A read laced bra and a matching thong to match…I wonder if I hadn't screwed up earlier maybe we would have…

"Alex? Are you ok?" She gazes at me worried.

"Yes…I couldn't sleep. I am sorry…" I apologize for my actions earlier this evening.

"I already forgave you, Alex." She locks her door. "Let's get you some sleep." She rubs her eyes and grabs my hand to pull me to her bedroom.

As I am being pulled, I tell her the real reason I am here, "Casey, I want to prove to you that I trust you." I tell her.

She stops walking and turns around… "Alex," She sighs, "later. I am tired and you need sleep…Not right now…not at three in the morning."

Well I obviously didn't think this plan through, but it can wait until the morning. I am just glad that she isn't so upset at me.

I nod and she lets go of my hand and enters the bedroom, lies on the bed, and shuts the lamp, causing me to find my way to the bed in the dark.

Ok, I take that back she is obviously pissed off.

* * *

**AN: What do you think? Do you think Alex should be scared? :)**


	15. No Sleep

**AN: Finally, I am on a roll now. Short Chapter but hope you like.**

* * *

I lay restless on the bed for a couple minutes.

"I can't sleep, with you mad at me." I tell her.

She turns around and mumbles something. "Uhmmm…tomorrow."

"Casey, I can't sleep, knowing that I did something to anger you." I turn towards her.

Although dark, I can see her lift her head, "Alex…its half past three…please go to sleep. We can talk in the morning." With that she turns away from me and lays her head down.

I sigh and stare at the ceiling…I stayed up all night and I couldn't sleep.

Being with Casey is different than my relationship with Olivia. For one, I would actually have a good night's sleep if Olivia is pissed at me, however with Casey, I hate hurting her or seeing an ounce of her disappointed, by my mistake…If I am like this I wonder how I would be if someone else angers her?

I just want to make her happy, although I have yet to succeed at that.

I am still staring at the ceiling as Casey's alarm clock rings and she's moving her hand around the night stand, trying to feel for her phone. Once she shuts it, she turns towards me.

"You don't look like you slept…" she states as she plops her head back on the pillows, facing me.

I nod, "I couldn't go to sleep with you angry at me." I reiterate.

"Sorry, but can you blame me?" She wipes her eyes.

I shake my head, "I don't, baby, I truly don't. I know where you are coming from. I need to trust you, to know that you will be there for me…I thought maybe if I told you something I never discussed with anyone…not even Olivia…you will believe me that I trust you."

She shakes her head, "You don't have to-"

"Please. I want to." I gaze into her eyes.

She stares at me for a few seconds, sits up, and yawns.

I just stare back, she is so cute in the morning, and I can totally get used to waking up next to her.

Then I realize that I have to solve a matter at hand.

"When I was in my senior year of college, I planned to become a lawyer, in a firm." I start. "I wanted to own a firm one day. Become the greatest defender their ever was." I smile, "I studied night and day, then…" I pause and inhale, "my mother called me and told me my little sister was missing. I flew back home on the next flight…" Casey has an empathetic look on her face and she starts to scoot closer to me, but I don't want to be comforted now. This is the first time I talk about it out loud to anyone. I scoot away from her and she takes the hint. A tear slides down my face.

"All I could think to myself, was why did I abandon her? I could have gone to school here, in New York, but I was selfish, I wanted to be with my friends away from my parents…I didn't even think about her…She needed me." I am past sporadic tears, now I am full blown crying and my heart beats faster, as I begin to relive the gruesome event in the story.

"My sister was raped, had laceration wounds all over her face, she was tortured. The man who did it, just threw her in the park…She must have been scared, calling for my name, but I wasn't there…I wasn't there for Amy…" I wiped my tears.

"Alex, you shouldn't feel guilty, over this…It's not your fault." She hesitantly moves closer to me and I lean on her shoulder.

"She died because he choked her…I vowed to myself that if I found this guy myself I would kill him…but the police found him and I sat through that trial. His defense attorney throwing all these lies out there and the ADA was countering back…He got life. Not only that, but I knew that I didn't want to be a defense attorney. I want to fight for those that can't speak for themselves…"I swallow, and sigh, "I visited him in jail one day…and, and he wasn't even remorseful."

It feels so good to get this off my chest. I have been harboring it for years.

Casey is rubbing my back in circles. "Thank you." She pauses, "You don't have to go to work. I'll call in for you-"

"No…I'm ok." I am on the verge of more tears but I hold them back.

"Are you sure?" She asks softly.

I simply nod my head.

"I don't want to break this, but we have to get ready…Are you sure? You didn't sleep all night." She wonders once more.

Causing me to giggle despite my sobbing a few seconds before, "Yes, Casey."

For a few minutes neither of us moves. I feel safe, right here, in her arms.

"I'll make you breakfast while you get ready." Casey leaves no room for me to argue. She kisses my forehead and stalks out of the room, she turns around and leans on the door way. "I love you."

I smile to myself, "I love you, too."

Despite telling her the story for a whole other reason, I feel like a burden has been lifted off of me and it somehow got Casey and I, closer.

Oh…and I am so tired. I find myself succumbing to slumber.

"Alex," Casey whispers softly. "I told you not to go to work. You are tired, sweetie."

I slowly open my eyes to see a sweet smile over her face. Somehow she got dressed when I was asleep.

"I must have fallen asleep when you left." I tell her starting to sit up. To be honest, I am not all there, I am still sleepy, however I need to work…Well I don't, but Casey will be there and I just want to be with her all day.

"You did. Look do not go to work today and I'll come here or we can meet up for lunch, after you have gotten your good night- or should I say, day- sleep." She smiles softly.

I concede because she is pleading with me out of a loving heart. "Ok, but come home early, tonight." I smile.

"Will do." She tucks me in to sleep. "Oh, and your breakfast will be ready for you once you wake up."

She states one more thing but all I hear is a mumble as I am lulled to sleep once again.

* * *

**AN: What do you think? I am a little exhausted from all the sadness in my stories...So I will try to get the last Chapter of Expectations in this week.**


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